Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Things Lucy Says and other deep Wendy realizations

I have great news for those of you who are curious or who have toddlers that use profanity, I haven't heard Lucy use the f-word in about a month and a half, and even Heidi came to visit last week (because Heidi couldn't refrain from laughing, Lucy used to yell it at her over and over just to make her laugh). Hallelujah!

I told Lucy that "Daddy gave Mommy my ring at the temple and we got married" a while ago. Now whenever we pass a temple Lucy recalls "Daddy Mommy ring temple married!" and then while pointing at the angel Moroni she exclaims "Careful Guy" " Ball" "Fall Down" "Careful." She came up with that all on her own and it cracks me up! I guess she doesn't realize that angels can fly yet!

She says her own prays which are a bunch of babbling and then "amen." It makes my heart melt every day.

"her ago mama" when she gives you things "for here you go mama." It doesn't really matter what she gives you, you can't help but smile when she says that to you.

"pease" for "please,"

"I do it!" at least 30 times a day. In fact, last week she opened the car door, climbed into her carseat and buckled herself completely in, all on account of that phrase. Today she hiked at least 75 % of our hike to Stewart Falls and back (about a 4 hour hike with Lucy) while I carried the empty baby back pack.

"Mama's toy" when I told her the computer was not a toy (one of my new recent phrases for "you can't play with that")she pointed at it and questioned "Mama's toy?" It caught me pretty off guard. I finally said "yes, you are right. It's Mama's toy." Kind of makes you think a little bit about how much you are using the computer, huh?

"Hold non" instead of "Hold on" she says this all the time. Anytime you can possibly hold on to anything.

"I get ana pillow" for "I will get my pillow" We just got a her a Belle pillowcase and she won't go upstairs without it.

"Luff you" for "Love you." Now the days are all blurring and I can't remember if she said that for the first time yesterday or 2 days ago. The day before she said it for reals she faked me out by saying "Luff you Mama" I started rejoicing and then realized she was pointing at her "Mama, do you love me?" book. I was crushed. I thought that was her first spontaneous "I love you Mama," but it didn't take long. The next day when she said bye to me she also included "Luff you" without any prompting (she has been saying "Luff you" for a while, but only when we ask her to).

Yesterday she even said "Bye Swing. Luff You" which she most definitely does. We put her on the big kid swing these days and she says "High. Fast" and "und dawg" for underdog. If she is not being pushed way too high for me to feel okay about it, she is upset. But I will be the first to admit I encourage her adventurous spirit despite being worried about her sometimes. I really don't want her to be a fearful and worried child. I want her to enjoy life, even if it means she gets hurt sometimes. I finally figured out that kids get hurt all the time and that they are resilient if you let them be.

Dave just taught Lucy after she gets hurt to brush her hands, brush her knees, then shake it off and give a triumphant sigh. It has worked wonders (we are talking magic here people) and I feel great that we are teaching her to be strong and have a great attitude towards life. I want her to realize that sometimes hard things happen, but you just pick yourself up and then keep enjoying. My testimony has really grown lately that it is through pain we learn. When we have hard times, we learn things and we grow. When I find myself struggling, I have been trying to think "What can I learn from this?" I almost feel like as soon as you really get the message and grow, all of a sudden your trial is either gone, or you at least start to see some solutions. Sometimes you just have to have a little headache to appreciate how awesome your body is when it is functioning at full speed. (I had a headache last night and I seriously can't stop thinking how great I feel right now without one).

To demonstrate this principle on a much bigger note, let me recap an experience. Last Fall, I had been praying to be happy again. I felt like I used to be happy, but between sleep deprivation and adjusting to 24 hour Momhood I just couldn't get back on track. I knew that your attitude was entirely up to you and I kept thinking "okay, today I will be happy" but then I would feel so tired from lack of sleep and after taking Lucy to the park, reading her books, making her food, and cleaning, all I wanted to do was sleep and my good attitude would fade as I continued to try and take care of Lucy until bedtime. I finally decided with everything that I could muster, that I would force happiness and then, Lo and Behold, Lucy was hospitalized due to food poisoning (all this was taking place in South Korea). She didn't keep down any food for over a month. At first I was so upset that my whole happy attitude didn't work. I thought to myself "Look where trying to be happy got me? Huge trials. Lots of Misery! I should have never asked to be happy. At least it wasn't this bad" I felt so angry and so helpless to control any part of my life. But you know what actually happened looking back, I enjoy my days with Lucy so much more now. I am so thankful that she is alive and healthy and that she can eat and we can go anywhere we want. We can dance together and swing together and run together. Whenever I am having a bad day and Lucy skips her nap and I don't get "me time" and I am tempted to just being annoyed with my circumstances, I think back to that experience and I know that my day is absolutely and completely awesome compared to being stuck in a hospital with a suffering daughter. I start to feel grateful that she actually has the ability to go without a nap, rather than be so sick that she sleeps most of the day and night. And when I am tired, at least I get to lie down on a big comfy bed, instead of sharing a hospital cot with Lucy while trying to avoid laying on the IV tube. I have suddenly realized how it is possible to be grateful for your trials (I used to think the people who talked about being grateful for their trials were kind of nutty, but I really am one of those nuts now). Trials can wake you up. They can make you grateful. They can change your life for the better. They can actually give you exactly what you wanted. I wanted to be happy and the Lord answered my prayers. I didn't realize that my answer would actually come in the form of a trial. Sometimes your prayers can't be answered overnight. Sometimes it takes a change of heart and some new stretch you experiences to have what we want. I am happy now and I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers, although they may be in mysterious and difficult to understand ways. You could say "be careful what you pray for," but really as much as we try to avoid trials, how much more awesome are all of us because of the trials we have had to face. I mean if we had never had any trials, we would be as helpless and dependent as a baby. As much as we love babies, I am sure most of us are glad that we don't have a big overgrown body with the mental capabilities of a baby. The reason we aren't babies is because when were babies we had trials and we grew. We pushed ourselves to crawl so that we could reach something that we wanted. And we still face trials as we reach for the things that we want and hopefully we grow. If we don't grow, its just a miserable downward spiral that is probablly more painful than the challenges we face as we strive to become something great. Anyway, these are my latest insights on life. I didn't intend to write a novel about my experiences, this started as a post about Lucy. I guess I will have to go add a little bit to the title now. I must have had a lot more in my heart than I realized when I started typing. I better go before I start wishing trials on everyone and you all end up hating me!

Thanks for Visiting!

Thanks for Visiting!
Lucy Says: Come again soon...