A Month of Love!

I learned a powerful lesson this Valentine's Day and now I am feeling like a relationship pro after only 6 years (which I am sure to look back at laughing in years to come...kind of like when you think you aren't a newly wed anymore on your first anniversary, so not true!)

Valentine's Day is usually just not very good. It usually consists of me trying to make dumb little mushy meaningful crafts for Dave which I find under the bed months later, and him being so stressed about doing something for me that he ends up doing nothing and then me thinking he just doesn't care when really he did care, but it just didn't work out. Sound familiar?

This year I had the best Valentine's Day ever and it's not because Dave surprised me with a trip to Paris, although I would be okay with it if he wants to use that idea sometime in the future. It is kind of cheezy and you have heard it your whole life, but serving others is really what makes you happy. It was a very busy day. We had to get treats and crafts ready for Lucy's valentine exchange party, and then played at the park with friends and read valentine's books to the kids. Next me and Lucy made a Valentine for Daddy as well as Lucy's friend Marcus, and a make believe Valentine to her crush Oliver from the play we were in last November (she hasn't seen him since November and yet she still talks about how she is going to marry him). Then we made the pink pizza dough and frosted the treats. I squeezed a quick photo shoot in of the kids. We visited Marcus with Lucy's valentine and then picked up Dave and made pink heart shaped pizza. We had a short Family Home Evening about loving your neighbor, delivered treats to all the neighbors and then finished with a heart hunt. Lucy found hearts all around the house until she found her valentine including nail polish, body glitter and princess gloves. Well then I made a little heart hunt for Dave and I can't tell you what his Valentine present was.

I was sooooo tired by the end of the day and yet soooooo happy. I contemplated why it was such a good valentine's day and realized I was so busy thinking of all the things I was going to do for Lucy and Dave, and the party and the neighbors that I never thought about what anyone was going to do for me. And that is the formula for happiness!!!! If you aren't concerned with what you are getting you will be so much happier. This sounds like a Christmas moral, but it hit me on Valentine's Day this year. I didn't even realize until the next day that I really hadn't gotten anything and it was so refreshing to not be expecting anything. I realized all these years (the whole 6 we have been married!!!)I have been wishing for Dave to be superman on Valentine's Day and that is not what it is about. It is about how you can show your love for others.

I feel like, duh! I mean theoretically I have always known that you should serve other people and be selfless and then you will be happy, but I guess I never actually internalized it.

Love really is a verb. It is something you do and then you feel. The more I find myself waking up thinking, "what can I do for Dave today?", the more I feel like he is the most amazing husband ever. Anytime, I have been upset with Dave it was because I was thinking of things he wasn't doing for me and I hadn't given any thought to his needs. I sure Love this adventure of Love. My favorite moments in life are when you feel like you really grow and have a whole new awareness in life. That is the whole purpose of this life right? To learn and grow and be able to Love more fully.





I caught some of the cuteness and love on camera!

Photo Shoot:






Valentine Party at the Park:


Lucy's Valentine from Marcus

Levi found his Valentine!
Lucy and her friend Emma at the party

They are so full of personality. I love it!


Lucy's hunky Valentine, Marcus!

Lucy helping me make the pizza dough.


The pizza turned out pretty cute!


Lucy wearing all of her valentine gifts the next morning. Notice the body glitter and princess gloves!

Anyway I hope your month and I guess your entire life are completely and totally full of LOVE!!!

The Real Labor Day!

Levi David Pendergrass has arrived! He was born on Tuesday, September 14th at 9:37 a.m. He weighed 9 lbs and is 21.5 inches long. I am so proud and hoping this means he will be a big, tall and handsome athlete, just like his Daddy!

Here are a few pictures of Levi's first days in the hospital. I also wrote my labor story because I know a lot of people are interested in that, but I put it after the pictures, because I know a lot of people are definitely not interested in that. So enjoy if you are the curious type!








Here is the Labor story! Feel free to skip it if you aren't into that kind of thing!

September 13th before bed I started bawling. I can't really explain it... I just knew I was going to have the baby the next day and these were my last few moments with only one child. Lucy had predicted about a month ago that the baby would come on a Tuesday. I asked her when the baby was coming and she said matter of factly "Tuesday in September." The 14th is my Grandma's Birthday and I had told her I would have the baby on her Birthday for her. Now it was here, and I knew it. I was worried about Labor and taking care of a newborn and not being able to spend as much time with Lucy. When we decided to have a baby is was 9 months away and so unreal, now it was here and I still didn't feel ready so I just got overwhelmed. Eventually I got over it, realized there was no real other way out of being pregnant and went to bed around 11:00 p.m.

September 14th

3:00 a.m. Wake up to a nice, real contraction. Pretty sure it was real. I wait to wake Dave up. He will need sleep. I stay in bed through a few more contractions coming every 10 minutes.

3:30 a.m. Okay the bed is not comfortable anymore! I get up and go get some breakfast. Going to need my strength today!

4:00 a.m. I am tired. Maybe I can sleep in between contractions. I go get back in bed through 2 more contractions. Dave wakes up. I wish he could have slept longer. I tell him calmly that I am in Labor for reals.

4:30 a.m. Dave and I jump in the shower. Got to look good for my little man's first day on earth! Just kidding. I did it more to feel good, but I do think it helped the pictures turn out a little more to my liking.

5:00 a.m. My shower has turned into a bath. I call the midwife from the bath tub and tell her I can't remember when I was supposed to call and when I am supposed to go to the hospital, but currently contractions are 7 minutes apart lasting 50 seconds. She said I could wait until contractions are 4-5 minutes apart and 1 minute in length, but I could go sooner if I felt like I should. I stop timing contractions because it is annoying. I figure I will know when it is time.

5:30 a.m. I finish packing my hospital stuff. Dave packs some snacks and I eat some ham and cheese sandwiches. I go snuggle Lucy while she is sleeping, wishing I could tell her goodbye, but not wanting to wake her. Contractions aren't too great while lying down, so I sadly stop snuggling her.

6:00 a.m. Dave calls my parents. At this point I have found that my favorite position for contractions is standing hugging Dave or kneeling at the couch like I am praying (or really praying).

6:30 a.m. My mom arrives. We talk for a little while. She give me some good last motherly encouragement.

I can't believe I have already been in Labor for 4 hours. It went by really quickly and was uncomfortable, but not unbearable by any means. Just felt like I was working out really hard and in between contractions I was happy as ever.

7:00 a.m. We leave for the hospital.

The freeway is jammed up, so we decide to take the coast route to the hospital. As we are nearing Moonlight Beach I have an uncontrollable urge to go walk in the water. I beg Dave to please take me to the beach. He asks if I am sure I shouldn't be at the hospital. I tell him "I think I will know when I am about to have the baby. Don't worry about" He jokes about catching the baby on the beach and how he will quote that for forever. We are cracking up which kind of hurts during a contraction while riding in the car.

7:20 a.m. We arrive at the beach, take our shoes off and go stand in the water. I felt overwhelming happiness wash over me. I can't explain how amazing it was. I really wanted to just kiss Dave the whole time we were there, but he kept it appropriate because there were a few joggers and such. I could have cared less. I was so scared the night before, but standing in the water in the early morning sunlight, holding the man I love and thinking about having a new little man to love, just made me start crying. I was crying because I was so happy. I knew I could do it. I knew I would love our new baby. I was crying because Dave had been such a good labor coach, even though he couldn't come to any of the classes. I was crying because Labor hadn't even gotten hard yet. In fact, I wondered if we weren't going in to the hospital a little early. I had stopped timing contractions long ago. To make a long story short, there is no better place to labor than sunrise at the beach with your feet in the water. It was so beautiful. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually cherish these moments being in Labor.

7:50 a.m. Okay, I guess we had better leave. We get in the car and start driving. Labor is so much better at the beach than in the car! Dave and I realize neither of us has ever been to the hospital from this direction and we end up going the wrong way. We were laughing. I wasn't worried. The contractions still weren't unbearable so I figured I was still a few hours away.

8:20 a.m. We check into the hospital and apologize for our sandy feet. They put me in a wheel chair, which I didn't think I needed, but it is always fun to be pampered. The nurses were nice. They doted over me and told me I looked beautiful. They sat me down and hooked me up to the monitors, but didn't give me an IV because I asked them not to. They did put a lead in my wrist just in case I needed emergency blood afterward. They check to see how dilated I am. I get really worried all of a sudden, because last week at my Dr. Appointment I wasn't dilated at all. I told Dave, if I am only at a 3 or something, I am going to just cry, wishing we hadn't left the beach! The nurse says to me "Looks like you have already done all the work. Good job! You are dilated to a 9 with a bulging sack of water. I will get the Dr. in here" I absolutely can't believe it! Was it really that easy? I can't believe I am still happy, talking, joking with the nurses and Dave. In shock that it's not that bad. Okay, I am only talking and happy in between contractions, (during contractions I am completely zoned out, breathing deeply and working hard) but they still aren't unbearable and Dave is shocked that everything is calm and I'm not yelling at him like in the movies (Although I was really tempted to, just for fun, while we were in the hallway!).

Sometime between checking in and Birth: A few more contractions, the Dr. breaks my water, okay. Now the contractions are intense. I was ready to push and on all fours and the Dr. asked me if I wanted to push like that. I said "I don't know" because at this point I felt like I didn't really know what to do, although I had planned to push on all fours or in a squatting position. Somehow the Dr. talked me into lying on my side, because he knew I wouldn't lay on my back. My emotions were confusing at this point. Before I felt like I knew what I wanted and was calling the shots. All of a sudden I felt like I didn't know what was going on, some animal inside me was taking charge and my logical side was gone. It felt scary, but actually really good to become so uninhibited. It was completely just me and my body and my baby, and I didn't care anymore that I sounded like Tarzan roaring in the jungle. The pain was not what I expected and really hard to describe. It felt very natural and unlike anything I have ever felt before. It is not like falling and getting hurt or like a really bad headache. It's more like when you are exercising really hard and pushing yourself to your total capacity, harder than you ever have before. So hard that some higher power takes over for you and you aren't thinking about what you are doing anymore. It was definitely really hard, but it was also an incredible feeling that my body could really do that. And really cool to actually feel your baby coming out.

9:37 a.m. Anyway, I pushed through two contractions and then had a little man! I was a little sad because I wanted him to come right to my arms, but he was blue and not breathing, so they had to cut the cord right away, take him to the table and then called on the intercom "I need help in room 4." Which worried me. The Dr. assured me he was okay, but you wonder all the same. I prayed in my heart for him.

The Dr. told me at first that I didn't tear, but then when he checked again found a little one. He said it was small and he didn't have to stitch it, but it might heal nicer asked what I wanted. I let him stitch it, but regretted that shortly. I am not going to lie. That sucked. I don't know what kind of numbing agent he used, but it seemed like I felt everything and it took too long. And it is a sharp pain, not a muscular pain like labor. I think I deal a lot better with muscular pain, than needles and pokes. I squeezed Dave's hand more while being stitched than in labor!

And then it was over. My baby was okay and they finally brought him to me. We cuddled and nursed and I knew I would love him forever. And that is the beginning of Levi David Pendergrass.

The recovery is going great! I feel ten times better than I did with Lucy. I appreciated Labor being easy because of the epidural with Lucy, but it felt really weird and was a much slower recovery. This time around, I loved being able to walk around and move right after delivery and I felt so happy afterward and still do. With Lucy I felt kind of weird and confused and cried a lot.

Now that I have had both experiences, epidural and natural, I can say that I loved the natural birth experience and will definitely choose it again. It has increased my appreciation for my body and it's amazing ability. My knowledge of God's grand design, the miracle of life and the creation of woman has deepened. I feel honored to be a woman and mother.

Creativity in the Classroom

It's taken me a while, but I really wanted to write a little bit about what I learned at the "Opera for Young children workshop I attended in October. I will share the details in another post, but before that post I wanted to set the preface and share a priceless (Plus very entertaining and hilarious) video that we were assigned to watch before the conference.



So my latest topic of passionate discussion is the need for more art and physical activity in school. I think it is totally unreasonable to make kids sit still, learning about Math, Science, English and History for 6 hours every day. Why is P.E. only twice a week? Why not dance everyday? What about the power of music and using it as learning tool? What about art?

Dave always said P.E. was his favorite subject in school. I'm guessing he was not alone. It's natural for children to have energy, and they should be able to use it. I believe we are training children that life is supposed to be boring, hard, and miserable with little spurts of enjoyable moments, such as art, recess, singing, dancing, P.E., etc. I realize some people really love Math, but I don't think it is the majority. Well, kids just grow up to get miserable jobs that they hate and then every once in a while have a vacation where they actually enjoy life. This is dumb. The percentage of time enjoyed should be higher, but I believe we are actually teaching our children this philosophy.

And we wonder why 60 % of America is overweight? It is very obvious to me that school drains the life out of them. Lucy has soooooooo much energy. She is excited to wake up in the morning. She asks me to run around with her all day. Why do children stop doing this? People can be conditioned for anything and I believe we are conditioning children to sit all day long. We punish kids for having energy. We tell them they have problems if they can't sit there and pay attention all day. I wonder why so many adults feel like they have no energy.

We were blessed with a body and I believe it is supposed to be used. If all we needed was a brain, that is all we would have been given. I'm not saying we shouldn't educate our children in Math, English, Science and History. There is lots of value in academic subjects, I just don't think it should be given preference. I think the joy of life is in the arts, in CREATING rather than memorizing. And why not teach them History by acting it out, instead of focusing on memorizing dates they will undoubtedly forget?

Somewhere out there is a dancer, a singer, an artist, a composer, who has no idea because they were never given the chance. They might be sitting there wondering why life is miserable, but it only is because they don't realize there are worthwhile things that they would actually love to do. They were told to stay seated, and raise their hand if they can answer the question. Don't go off topic (be creative), please stand up (use energy).

What would you do if you were more creative and had energy?

What could our children be if they stayed creative and kept their energy to pursue those creations?

I'm not blaming teachers. I believe they are amazing people with good hearts, who have been trained a certain way. The school boards are the ones running the show and saying what matters and what doesn't and that if you're class doesn't get high enough scores you are in trouble. (My personal feeling is that by increasing creative activities, children will actually focus better on the academic subjects and actually perform better on standardized tests.) I guess I can't just put the blame on them, I guess they just have pressure to teach what society values. I just don't know why more people don't value the arts, or if they really do then why are standardized test scores the gold standard?

I am concerned because Lucy only has three years until she will enter the school system. I definitely don't want to home school her because I believe there are great social benefits to going to school, and I don't know if I could do much better than a teacher anyway. Knowing me, Lucy might end up dancing all day long and getting a little behind in the boring areas.

Is EDUCATION just a fancy word for DECREATIFICATION?

I know I sure wish I was as creative as I was in 3rd grade. Ideas used to come a mile per minute. I am trying to retrain myself in the way of creativity, hoping that it is something you can regrow, like building a muscle, rather than a one time shot, like your growth plates closing up and leaving you at 5'7'' forever.

I don't have the solution, do you?

Do you even agree with what me and this video are saying? I realize not everyone loves the arts as much as I do. Am I just talking crazy talk or is this really a problem we are facing?

Things Lucy Says and other deep Wendy realizations

I have great news for those of you who are curious or who have toddlers that use profanity, I haven't heard Lucy use the f-word in about a month and a half, and even Heidi came to visit last week (because Heidi couldn't refrain from laughing, Lucy used to yell it at her over and over just to make her laugh). Hallelujah!

I told Lucy that "Daddy gave Mommy my ring at the temple and we got married" a while ago. Now whenever we pass a temple Lucy recalls "Daddy Mommy ring temple married!" and then while pointing at the angel Moroni she exclaims "Careful Guy" " Ball" "Fall Down" "Careful." She came up with that all on her own and it cracks me up! I guess she doesn't realize that angels can fly yet!

She says her own prays which are a bunch of babbling and then "amen." It makes my heart melt every day.

"her ago mama" when she gives you things "for here you go mama." It doesn't really matter what she gives you, you can't help but smile when she says that to you.

"pease" for "please,"

"I do it!" at least 30 times a day. In fact, last week she opened the car door, climbed into her carseat and buckled herself completely in, all on account of that phrase. Today she hiked at least 75 % of our hike to Stewart Falls and back (about a 4 hour hike with Lucy) while I carried the empty baby back pack.

"Mama's toy" when I told her the computer was not a toy (one of my new recent phrases for "you can't play with that")she pointed at it and questioned "Mama's toy?" It caught me pretty off guard. I finally said "yes, you are right. It's Mama's toy." Kind of makes you think a little bit about how much you are using the computer, huh?

"Hold non" instead of "Hold on" she says this all the time. Anytime you can possibly hold on to anything.

"I get ana pillow" for "I will get my pillow" We just got a her a Belle pillowcase and she won't go upstairs without it.

"Luff you" for "Love you." Now the days are all blurring and I can't remember if she said that for the first time yesterday or 2 days ago. The day before she said it for reals she faked me out by saying "Luff you Mama" I started rejoicing and then realized she was pointing at her "Mama, do you love me?" book. I was crushed. I thought that was her first spontaneous "I love you Mama," but it didn't take long. The next day when she said bye to me she also included "Luff you" without any prompting (she has been saying "Luff you" for a while, but only when we ask her to).

Yesterday she even said "Bye Swing. Luff You" which she most definitely does. We put her on the big kid swing these days and she says "High. Fast" and "und dawg" for underdog. If she is not being pushed way too high for me to feel okay about it, she is upset. But I will be the first to admit I encourage her adventurous spirit despite being worried about her sometimes. I really don't want her to be a fearful and worried child. I want her to enjoy life, even if it means she gets hurt sometimes. I finally figured out that kids get hurt all the time and that they are resilient if you let them be.

Dave just taught Lucy after she gets hurt to brush her hands, brush her knees, then shake it off and give a triumphant sigh. It has worked wonders (we are talking magic here people) and I feel great that we are teaching her to be strong and have a great attitude towards life. I want her to realize that sometimes hard things happen, but you just pick yourself up and then keep enjoying. My testimony has really grown lately that it is through pain we learn. When we have hard times, we learn things and we grow. When I find myself struggling, I have been trying to think "What can I learn from this?" I almost feel like as soon as you really get the message and grow, all of a sudden your trial is either gone, or you at least start to see some solutions. Sometimes you just have to have a little headache to appreciate how awesome your body is when it is functioning at full speed. (I had a headache last night and I seriously can't stop thinking how great I feel right now without one).

To demonstrate this principle on a much bigger note, let me recap an experience. Last Fall, I had been praying to be happy again. I felt like I used to be happy, but between sleep deprivation and adjusting to 24 hour Momhood I just couldn't get back on track. I knew that your attitude was entirely up to you and I kept thinking "okay, today I will be happy" but then I would feel so tired from lack of sleep and after taking Lucy to the park, reading her books, making her food, and cleaning, all I wanted to do was sleep and my good attitude would fade as I continued to try and take care of Lucy until bedtime. I finally decided with everything that I could muster, that I would force happiness and then, Lo and Behold, Lucy was hospitalized due to food poisoning (all this was taking place in South Korea). She didn't keep down any food for over a month. At first I was so upset that my whole happy attitude didn't work. I thought to myself "Look where trying to be happy got me? Huge trials. Lots of Misery! I should have never asked to be happy. At least it wasn't this bad" I felt so angry and so helpless to control any part of my life. But you know what actually happened looking back, I enjoy my days with Lucy so much more now. I am so thankful that she is alive and healthy and that she can eat and we can go anywhere we want. We can dance together and swing together and run together. Whenever I am having a bad day and Lucy skips her nap and I don't get "me time" and I am tempted to just being annoyed with my circumstances, I think back to that experience and I know that my day is absolutely and completely awesome compared to being stuck in a hospital with a suffering daughter. I start to feel grateful that she actually has the ability to go without a nap, rather than be so sick that she sleeps most of the day and night. And when I am tired, at least I get to lie down on a big comfy bed, instead of sharing a hospital cot with Lucy while trying to avoid laying on the IV tube. I have suddenly realized how it is possible to be grateful for your trials (I used to think the people who talked about being grateful for their trials were kind of nutty, but I really am one of those nuts now). Trials can wake you up. They can make you grateful. They can change your life for the better. They can actually give you exactly what you wanted. I wanted to be happy and the Lord answered my prayers. I didn't realize that my answer would actually come in the form of a trial. Sometimes your prayers can't be answered overnight. Sometimes it takes a change of heart and some new stretch you experiences to have what we want. I am happy now and I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers, although they may be in mysterious and difficult to understand ways. You could say "be careful what you pray for," but really as much as we try to avoid trials, how much more awesome are all of us because of the trials we have had to face. I mean if we had never had any trials, we would be as helpless and dependent as a baby. As much as we love babies, I am sure most of us are glad that we don't have a big overgrown body with the mental capabilities of a baby. The reason we aren't babies is because when were babies we had trials and we grew. We pushed ourselves to crawl so that we could reach something that we wanted. And we still face trials as we reach for the things that we want and hopefully we grow. If we don't grow, its just a miserable downward spiral that is probablly more painful than the challenges we face as we strive to become something great. Anyway, these are my latest insights on life. I didn't intend to write a novel about my experiences, this started as a post about Lucy. I guess I will have to go add a little bit to the title now. I must have had a lot more in my heart than I realized when I started typing. I better go before I start wishing trials on everyone and you all end up hating me!